From First Date to Long Term : How to Make It Work

Are you dating a new guy and you really like him? Are you hoping that your first few dates are going to turn into a full-fledged, long term romance? Are you wondering how to make sure you don't screw up the relationship in the first few months of dating? The following are some general rules to follow in order to keep your new man happy, interested, and, most importantly, around.

First of all, keep in mind that men can be scared of a woman who has "commitment" stamped across her forehead, even if he IS interested in a long-term relationship with her. Most guys would prefer to make those commitments on their own time and on their own schedule, otherwise they start feeling like they're losing control. Don't start dropping "subtle" hints about moving in together, the future, or marriage -- they're not as subtle as you think. He will see right through you and will not only be turned off, he will probably think you don't respect him enough to be up front with him.

This includes a behavioral issue that many women start to display as a relationship progresses: pretending as if the relationship status has already changed. This means taking over a drawer or two in his dresser without his permission, expecting him to spend time with your family, or any number of things. Again, let him progress on his own time. You can't trick him into being in a more serious relationship than he is.

You also need to be careful of smothering him. New relationships often induce the "butterflies" period where you feel so head-over-heels in love that you can't imagine being away from him for one minute! This honeymoon phase is cute -- when you're in junior high. As adults, we have to realize that everyone needs to live their own lives. Give him his space to be himself, to work, and to spend time with his own friends and family. You are not his end-all-be-all, and even if you two do end up together forever, he will still need time for himself and his own interests.

Last, you need to make sure that you continue to be the woman he liked in the first place. Don't give up your hobbies or friends just to spend more time with him. Value your own life and your own interests, otherwise he'll lose interest in you.